The first few weeks after bringing home Sheep have been like survival camping. You go days without showering; makeup is a long-ago luxury; you see people a lot less often than you used to; you forage for something quick and easy to heat up, and it has to be something you can eat with one hand; and you pick up skills quick - I can now change a diaper in about 40 seconds, under immense pressure. For example, when a golden arc of pee comes spraying over me (this has happened at least 10 times within the past month).
When my best friend said, "The first month is going to rock your world," I didn't know what she meant until now. I'm amazed by how used I've gotten to having 3-4 hours of sleep at a time during the night, with 1-1.5 hours of feeding and soothing in-between. And, whereas in the past I couldn't go to bed without perfect conditions and earplugs, now I'm asleep instantly.
I've had a major identity crisis since bringing home baby. In the past I pursued writing goals, made new connections, stayed in touch via social media, kept my home clean, read, and maintained my Spanish. Those have all been next to impossible to keep up. Now my only goal is that Sheep is fed and happy, and myself afterwards. This change was so abrupt, I had difficulty with it and reached out to other moms. They all assured me this was normal, and because it was hard to say what Sheep's timeline was, they said to just ride the wave and see how far it goes. It could be the 6 week mark, or it could be 4 months, until my day to day has some regularity.
R has been amazing at being a dad. Despite having a long commute to work and regular overtime, he's always home to make dinner and is my respite on the weekends. But the lack of sleep and discombobulation of everything makes me forget at times, leading me to be bitchy - a lot (I'm really sorry, hon). They say the first 5 years of a child's life are a real test on a relationship. This I believe.
I hear Sheep waking up from his nap...it's time to turn off the computer and get back to Baby, Baby, Baby. They say I'll look back and miss his newborn stage, so time to be present in these moments and enjoy them as much as I can.
