6.5 Months

I've just finished moving, which was tough in my condition. I had to stop frequently, and I didn't let myself carry anything heavy. It's been a week now and, although my commute to work has more than doubled, I absolutely love my new home. It's much quieter and newer than the previous building. And I finally have in-suite laundry! R has been amazing in unpacking and decorating (he's faster at it than me). Sheep's room has temporarily become storage, but his items have been set aside, awaiting set-up.

The physical change leading up to now has been remarkable. There are negatives, such as the leg cramps, the lack of upper-body strength, and the fatigue while walking. Giving myself a pedicure or even just putting on socks is hard. But it's amazing feeling Sheep get stronger. I sing to the baby every day, and play classical music. However I'm also exposing Sheep to Mamá's favorites: CCR, Fleetwood Mac, Grimes, Missy Elliott, System of a Down. Nice, relaxing tunes, hahaha.

In the beginning I swore I wouldn't go gung-ho and buy too much for Sheep, but when R and I went to Value Village, they had an amazing selection of baby clothes and shoes and I couldn't resist. We didn't blow our budget but I definitely walked out with an armful of stuff. If only it were just as easy to find clothes that fit my expanding body.

The Secret's Out

It's like a Weight Watchers ad, but in reverse.

 I've hit the six-month mark (the photo says five, but I take my time writing my thoughts). A few weeks ago co-workers started cautiously asking if I was pregnant (as opposed to just eating too much lately). Their hesitation in asking was soooo cute. The only one who didn't hesitate was my fellow Filipina, a building maintenance worker who bluntly asked, "Are you pregnant? Was it an accident or did you plan it?"

Strangers jump up to offer their seat on the bus, and I swear cars are actually stopping more abruptly now when I cross the street. I'm getting so big, I'm actually considering buying a shoe horn because bending down is very difficult. I remember a long time ago in a grocery store, a heavily pregnant woman dropped an item and just stared at it on the floor, sighing a long sigh. Just staring at it. I immediately swooped down to pick it up for her.

Sheep loves to kick and punch. In the beginning, I thought his movements were just indigestion. It felt like bubbles popping inside me. Now it's obvious what they really were. Months ago when R talked about what the kicking would feel like, the idea of something squirming inside me grossed me out. It sounded so alien. But now, I love feeling the baby move inside me. In fact, Sheep has moved a lot during ultrasounds, much to the frustration of the technicians.

It's getting to the point where I can actually see the baby move on the outside. The first time I noticed was while I was working. At my company we wear badges that hang off our necks. I felt Sheep kick, right where my badge was hanging. The silver clasp caught the light and reflected it into my eyes, which caused me to look down. Sheep kicked again and I saw the badge move! So I pushed it aside and watched a little bump pop out as the baby kicked again and again. So. Cool.

Does this Baby Make me Look Fat?

So far my energy's still up, although I have to take it easy when exercising because I get winded fast. I went for a 5-hour bike ride in the city and fell asleep the moment I got home. Still maintaining a (sort of) healthy diet, sleeping 7-8 hours. Got myself a doppler for only $20, because it's been a long time since I've felt any baby movement. I'm only 19 weeks, so still not going to feel anything for a while. It's been reassuring to have a doppler handy. R seemed fascinated by the sound of Sheep's heartbeat last night.

I've been reveling in wearing tighter clothes to show off the bump. If I haven't eaten, I just look like I'm "enjoying life", as a friend who didn't know I was pregnant tactfully put it. But after a meal, I look like the picture above. If I'm this big now, how big will I be when it's time to deliver?  Uh oh.

Why 'Sheep'?

The baby's name is Sheep for now - no word if it's a boy or girl yet, that test is coming later. Besides, we actually won't be revealing the sex until after delivery. The reason for not telling is because if we receive gifts, I'm not interested in them being overly girly or masculine. In my case, I grew up wearing hand-me-downs, because my parents couldn't afford new clothes for me. I wore outfits from a family that had had a son. My photo album is filled with pictures of me wearing long soccer socks, boy's shorts and shirts. I often played with boys and used their toys. And I still turned out (kinda) feminine.

So 'Sheep' is what we call the baby, because months before we conceived, R and I talked often about starting a family. One day during a nap, I dreamt I was in Metrotown mall. It was empty, but I turned around and saw someone holding the hand of a toddler as he walked towards me, smiling. I knew in my heart that this was my child. What was weird was he was wearing a sheep costume - it wasn't even Hallowe'en! When I woke up I told R, "I think I just had a vision of our kid." Hence the name Sheep.

As for the baby's real name, we've settled on one if it's a girl, but we were agonizing over a boy's name. We think we've come up with one, but won't reveal it until after Sheep is born.

4 Months Update

As I was laying in bed this morning, my eyes flew open when I felt a movement. It was like the baby was scraping a body part along the palm of my hand. This was the first time feeling him. I definitely have a bump below my belly button, although the roundness above is probably due to gaining weight. I don't feel the movements every day, as it's still early, but in a few short weeks I believe the kicks will be stronger.

I've decided to watch my portions and exercise more; most of my clothes are straining at the seams now. I found myself gorging at meals and I'd feel sick afterwards. I've also decided to do prenatal yoga any morning I can. I want to keep myself fit and limber for giving birth (hello, kegels). I'm surprised by how winded I get when I walk from the bus stop, up a slight grade, and arrive at my apartment two blocks later. I remember going for 40-minute intense runs in Jaén, which is a very hilly town, and lifting heavy weights in the gym. Now I have to give my heavy grocery bags to my fiance.

From First to Second Trimester

I'm moving from the 12th to 13th week. My morning sickness came back a few days ago. Last week my morning sickness had been tapering off, but came back again. Today I felt good as I went to my genetic screening ultrasound. It was remarkable watching the baby on the screen. Sheep (our nickname for the baby) was stretching its legs a lot, tossing and turning, even flipping head to toe! The technician explained I couldn't feel these movements at this time because the baby has very little muscular structure, and is flipping within fluid. Seeing the movement live made my pregnancy feel more real.

I'm slowly starting to tell people here and there. One friend asked if my engagement was the result of the pregnancy. Timing-wise, my fiance proposed a week after I'd told him I was pregnant, but he'd actually planned to propose a month before. What happened was the ring's shipment was delayed by a month, therefore the proposal happened soon after I found out we were having a baby.

The Result

Well, long time no post. Because I'm in the throes of morning sickness.

That's right, my fiance and I conceived within four cycles! Faster than I'd expected. It was draining and depressing each time my period would come. R actually thought I'd never get pregnant, because of my age (how naive). I'm currently 11 weeks. I'm not showing, but I've definitely gained weight. I had to buy bigger pants to feel comfortable sitting down at my job. Friends are definitely thinking something is up, because I haven't had a drink since December, and I laugh it away, saying that we're trying to start a family so I musn't drink, or that I have to drive home after an event. I feel terrible lying but it's too early to say something. I haven't finished all of the tests, nor have I even seen my obstetrician yet! It's frustrating how many appointments there are, and I'm the one having to book most of them. It's a lot of running around while still having to go to work.

My cat is absolutely fascinated by a video about pregnancy.

And the morning sickness. Oh god. My mom had it for four months while she was pregnant. It's unbelievable to me that she had more than one child. I only want to go through this one time, and never again. I normally love food, spices, and exotic flavors, but I can't handle anything more than salt and a little bit of pepper right now. My jam is Italian pasta: cacio e pepe, carbonara. I'm eating too much white flour, but whole wheat, raw veggies, raw fruits - anything healthy, really - wreaks havoc on my stomach. I feel miserable 90% of the time. There was one week where the morning sickness disappeared, and I thought it was over. After a few days of this gloriousness, I bought salad, wheat pasta, fruits...then promptly threw it all up as my morning sickness came back with a vengeance. The lettuce is slowly wilting in the back of my fridge as I type this.

My attempt to kick my coffee habit didn't last. I went back to my one cup in the morning, and I wasn't worried because after extensive reading, I determined that actually, one small cup won't hurt the baby. But, because I feel sick, as of now I haven't had coffee for over a week.

They say bad morning sickness means a girl. A friend of mine who believes in numerology also predicts a girl. We shall see.