Seven Months

It's getting real.

It feels this way when you're looking down and able to see a baby squirming around in your belly. Right now Sheep's also kicking the crap out of my right rib - a favorite target, as the head is diagonally opposite and facing downwards. So while Sheep stretches throughout the day, and grows, my rib takes a beating.

I even watched the baby move while sitting in our first prenatal class this week. It was cool to see other big bellies in the room, along with their nervous/bored/excited partners. We'll be in class for 6 weeks, sharing concerns and learning how to push a huge turkey out of our vijayjays. A co-worker told me he and his wife gave birth before their prenatal classes could even start, and everything went fine, so needless to say I could probably forego the classes and I'm sure it would work out. However, not only do I want to know what's going on and feel prepared, I also want to meet other moms in my area, hence the classes.

Obstetrician appointments are picking up, now every two weeks instead of every month. It's because of my age. The doc says everything is fine, except my iron is a bit low, so I was told to take Feramax. I plan to ask at the next appointment if I can simply increase iron sources in my diet instead. However, if she prefers I supplement, I will. I understand the role iron plays in the baby's birth weight.

But let's talk about my weight now, shall we? Until two weeks ago, I was eating fairly normally. Suddenly, my appetite shot through the roof. A sign I was entering the third trimester, a time when the baby really grows. I. Can't. Stop. Eating. Every two hours, I need a mini-meal. One time I tried to wait and I almost ate the car. I usually surround myself with healthy food and snacks, so that at least Sheep's getting good nutrients. I actually freaked out on R about his candy stash, saying it was a terrible thing to have within arm's reach, and he gave up and said, "Fine, I'll get a safe that locks!"

Went to my old hood with friends last week. Almost all of us showed up, and I stayed out the whole night (well, we ended early, at 11:00). It was nice hanging with the crew, cracking jokes like old times. They all enjoyed their beers at the pub while I nursed my....Sprite. :(

The next morning, R and I did a maternity shoot, so I could look back and feel proud of how my body looked at this stage (for you, I'm only posting G-rated photos):

Sheep's rep

We just took the pics at home, in front of a curtained window in order to use the morning light. No fancy studio (we're on a tight budget, having moved into the new place), but I did visit the salon because I'm terrible at hairdos. Someday I want to look back and marvel at how my body changed during Sheep's incubation.

Mom 2018

Mother's Day was sweet. Originally I wanted to go out for brunch and see other moms, but R and I dropped quite a bit of dough on home improvement, so I changed my mind to breakfast on our balcony. R is an expert at it: perfectly fried hashbrowns, eggs, bacon, a bit of chili con carne to Mexify it, and Starbucks. It was a really lovely, quiet morning. The only Mother's Day I'll ever celebrate before Sheep is out in the world.

Sheep's movements are even stronger these days, jolting my body every time there's a kick or punch. I can actually faintly see the baby turn now. Even at my advanced stage, co-workers are still tentatively asking if I'm pregnant - they've had too many traumatic experiences falsely calling out a "pregnant" woman, I suppose. A few nights ago I swore Sheep had grown overnight; I had a terrible sleep, as every position felt uncomfortable. In the morning I had difficulty getting out of bed and walking around. A couple days later and I've become used to the new bulk, knowing that I'm about to enter the crucial final trimester where a lot of growth happens. (Side note: I bought a shoe horn. Seriously.)

It doesn't happen every single night, but I've definitely had times where I've laid down for bed and suddenly burst into tears. It's usually with the realization that my life is about to change completely and forever. It's not like moving to Spain, where if I want to I can come back home. There's no going back to "single me". If I wanted to (I don't desire it these days) I could party hard all night and crash into bed at 8 a.m., but if I were to do that I'd be thinking in the back of my head, "What about Sheep? You're a mom now."

For Mother's Day, R gave me a gift. Although it had a simple message, unbeknownst to him it carried a lot of weight for me:

Before I received this gift, I'd been ruminating over my past life, and all the exciting things I did. Things that would be difficult / impossible to do for the next few years (minimum). I was mourning the old me, because it felt like it was being thrown away into a desert wasteland, to be dissolved like dust in the wind. Receiving this message on a mug made me realize, I only became a mom now, and everything in my past counted towards the present. I'm not throwing anything away, rather it's all accumulated and counted towards where I am now. As a newly "established" mom, I have a "company history" that forms who I am today.

In short, this mug really made my day. That and the homemade hashbrowns.

6.5 Months

I've just finished moving, which was tough in my condition. I had to stop frequently, and I didn't let myself carry anything heavy. It's been a week now and, although my commute to work has more than doubled, I absolutely love my new home. It's much quieter and newer than the previous building. And I finally have in-suite laundry! R has been amazing in unpacking and decorating (he's faster at it than me). Sheep's room has temporarily become storage, but his items have been set aside, awaiting set-up.

The physical change leading up to now has been remarkable. There are negatives, such as the leg cramps, the lack of upper-body strength, and the fatigue while walking. Giving myself a pedicure or even just putting on socks is hard. But it's amazing feeling Sheep get stronger. I sing to the baby every day, and play classical music. However I'm also exposing Sheep to Mamá's favorites: CCR, Fleetwood Mac, Grimes, Missy Elliott, System of a Down. Nice, relaxing tunes, hahaha.

In the beginning I swore I wouldn't go gung-ho and buy too much for Sheep, but when R and I went to Value Village, they had an amazing selection of baby clothes and shoes and I couldn't resist. We didn't blow our budget but I definitely walked out with an armful of stuff. If only it were just as easy to find clothes that fit my expanding body.

The Secret's Out

It's like a Weight Watchers ad, but in reverse.

 I've hit the six-month mark (the photo says five, but I take my time writing my thoughts). A few weeks ago co-workers started cautiously asking if I was pregnant (as opposed to just eating too much lately). Their hesitation in asking was soooo cute. The only one who didn't hesitate was my fellow Filipina, a building maintenance worker who bluntly asked, "Are you pregnant? Was it an accident or did you plan it?"

Strangers jump up to offer their seat on the bus, and I swear cars are actually stopping more abruptly now when I cross the street. I'm getting so big, I'm actually considering buying a shoe horn because bending down is very difficult. I remember a long time ago in a grocery store, a heavily pregnant woman dropped an item and just stared at it on the floor, sighing a long sigh. Just staring at it. I immediately swooped down to pick it up for her.

Sheep loves to kick and punch. In the beginning, I thought his movements were just indigestion. It felt like bubbles popping inside me. Now it's obvious what they really were. Months ago when R talked about what the kicking would feel like, the idea of something squirming inside me grossed me out. It sounded so alien. But now, I love feeling the baby move inside me. In fact, Sheep has moved a lot during ultrasounds, much to the frustration of the technicians.

It's getting to the point where I can actually see the baby move on the outside. The first time I noticed was while I was working. At my company we wear badges that hang off our necks. I felt Sheep kick, right where my badge was hanging. The silver clasp caught the light and reflected it into my eyes, which caused me to look down. Sheep kicked again and I saw the badge move! So I pushed it aside and watched a little bump pop out as the baby kicked again and again. So. Cool.

Does this Baby Make me Look Fat?

So far my energy's still up, although I have to take it easy when exercising because I get winded fast. I went for a 5-hour bike ride in the city and fell asleep the moment I got home. Still maintaining a (sort of) healthy diet, sleeping 7-8 hours. Got myself a doppler for only $20, because it's been a long time since I've felt any baby movement. I'm only 19 weeks, so still not going to feel anything for a while. It's been reassuring to have a doppler handy. R seemed fascinated by the sound of Sheep's heartbeat last night.

I've been reveling in wearing tighter clothes to show off the bump. If I haven't eaten, I just look like I'm "enjoying life", as a friend who didn't know I was pregnant tactfully put it. But after a meal, I look like the picture above. If I'm this big now, how big will I be when it's time to deliver?  Uh oh.

Why 'Sheep'?

The baby's name is Sheep for now - no word if it's a boy or girl yet, that test is coming later. Besides, we actually won't be revealing the sex until after delivery. The reason for not telling is because if we receive gifts, I'm not interested in them being overly girly or masculine. In my case, I grew up wearing hand-me-downs, because my parents couldn't afford new clothes for me. I wore outfits from a family that had had a son. My photo album is filled with pictures of me wearing long soccer socks, boy's shorts and shirts. I often played with boys and used their toys. And I still turned out (kinda) feminine.

So 'Sheep' is what we call the baby, because months before we conceived, R and I talked often about starting a family. One day during a nap, I dreamt I was in Metrotown mall. It was empty, but I turned around and saw someone holding the hand of a toddler as he walked towards me, smiling. I knew in my heart that this was my child. What was weird was he was wearing a sheep costume - it wasn't even Hallowe'en! When I woke up I told R, "I think I just had a vision of our kid." Hence the name Sheep.

As for the baby's real name, we've settled on one if it's a girl, but we were agonizing over a boy's name. We think we've come up with one, but won't reveal it until after Sheep is born.

4 Months Update

As I was laying in bed this morning, my eyes flew open when I felt a movement. It was like the baby was scraping a body part along the palm of my hand. This was the first time feeling him. I definitely have a bump below my belly button, although the roundness above is probably due to gaining weight. I don't feel the movements every day, as it's still early, but in a few short weeks I believe the kicks will be stronger.

I've decided to watch my portions and exercise more; most of my clothes are straining at the seams now. I found myself gorging at meals and I'd feel sick afterwards. I've also decided to do prenatal yoga any morning I can. I want to keep myself fit and limber for giving birth (hello, kegels). I'm surprised by how winded I get when I walk from the bus stop, up a slight grade, and arrive at my apartment two blocks later. I remember going for 40-minute intense runs in Jaén, which is a very hilly town, and lifting heavy weights in the gym. Now I have to give my heavy grocery bags to my fiance.